I do not believe in men women equality…Women are far more superior…I mean there’s got to be a reason why – 10 billion sperms travel towards one ovum, and only one gets lucky.
The nautanki nari is no economist to lecture you on the effects of inflation on the pocket of the Indian middle class. But being a critical observer here’s what I have to say about the behavioral changes in our well mannered, law abiding middle class.
Shashi, Mala, Pushpa, Geetha, Raviprasad, Suresh Kumar and all the other shy ones are no more shy when it comes to free food in office. Every one makes sure that they get their fair and (and little more if possible) when the office decides to sponsor lunch, dinner, or snacks.
Creepy Harinath aka Harry, jerk Mohanbabu, or flirty Guruprasad have changed. They no more offer lifts to the hot girls in office in their shiny bikes or washed cars. Even if they do, they are no more eager to take detours and drop stylish Anisha, or cool Rebecca at their doorsteps. Fuel prices are making our mavericks turn into stingy Dhaniklals.
Birthday dates are best kept hidden. Shy Gouriprasad cannot say no when friends ask for a birthday treat. So the best option is to lay low about the birthday. Clever Manya decides to take leave on her birthday lest she has to distribute sweets among her friends. Chocolate boy Varun is sad because this year his desk is empty on his birthday. No gifts from the girls mooning over him at office. With rise in prices of milk and sugar “Kuch meetha ho jaye” is no more a very popular ad line.
With rising inflation no one wants to spend unnecessarily. People hardly refuse going to a function if they have already paid for the gift. Gagan finds Aruna vain. He finds excuses to not to go out for tea in a group in which Aruna is a part. And her gang of equally vain girlfriends – Mona, Tina, Shreya, Madhu, etc. But he has come in a shiny silver shirt and jazzy black pants to office. In the evening the entire team will go to Aruna’s wedding reception. Gagan contributed Rs 500 towards the team gift. He doesn’t want it to go in vain.
Madhobi lives far away from Kolkata and conveniently forgets to book train tickets for Durga Puja. She’s been married to Arindom last year. Going home will mean shelling away atleast ten grands on presents for family and in-laws. Who can afford such rituals at times like this?
Ronny decides to shift from levis jeans to khadi and extols the simple rural life. Tamanna takes the bait and they decide to go on a date on a highway dhaba instead of Mainland China and Cafe Coffee Day!
Ashwin remembers to buy the cinema tickets online, but forgets to carry his wallet. During the interval, Shweta is quick to say that she is dieting and does not want the combo tray!
Day in day out I see people following stupid rules just to escape unnecessary hassles and precious money in fines. Are these rules of any good for citizens? Do they make lives easier? Or are they just the government’s way to churn money for the national exchequer and fan the breeding of corruption? Here’s my take:
- Smoking in front of cigarette shops: Really? How confused are the law makers here or how cunning. So you are saying people can buy cigarettes but they can’t smoke! Then what should they do with the it? Looks like it’s a two pronged policy to make money. Earn from tobacco taxes and from the already frustrated public at the same time. If you are really concerned about Indian citizens and their lungs, reduce the use of private transport and encourage using public transport. Catch vehicles emitting harmful smoke from faulty exhaust pipes and get them repaired. But no! That will be hard work. And one did not join politics for hard work…
- Wearing helmets: Four people were caught in front of my lane entrance for not wearing helmet. Two of them had been to the next lane for a quick visit to the grocery store. Tell me something. How many bike accidents have occurred in your residential lanes? I’m sure that for most the count will be zero. And yet people are forced to wear this head gear to save the hundred bucks fine. Police stand in the shade of a tree drinking coconut water and waiting for that one poor chap to fall into their trap. According to me my safety is my headache. I can take care of my self. If you really care about the safety of citizens start effective patrolling and make people aware of easy to reach helpline numbers.
- Law against PDA: What is the government’s headache if I choose to kiss or make out in public? Or are they jealous about the fact that with their lousy faces no one wants to do it to them? It is funny that it is absolutely normal to get your genitals out and urinate in plain view, but its a crime to sit in a park and cuddle a little (or a little more!) This is the most ridiculous law in a country that has scantily clad women in mammoth size bill boards; a country that welcomes a porn star into mainstream cinema; Boss, watching a guy shoot stinking uric acid is far more disgusting than watching a smooch.
- Paying road tax: Have you seen the condition of the roads? Forget rural India, but even the city roads (surprisingly even in front of MP MLA’s grand palaces) seem to have had a massive small pox attack and left without treatment. Half the time accidents happen because of these potholes and no one takes any actions. In the name of laying water pipes and improving drainage systems, huge drilling machines rape the roads and leave it unattended. Well don’t worry, riders and drivers somehow figure out way to meander and find the diversions. But then why do we have to pay road tax? So that the Road Developent authorites and politicians and share the national fund and build palaces?
- Income tax: We need to have sufficient income to pay the taxes. With the rising inflation, savings amount looks like pocket money. And yet the government has the audacity to ask citizens to pay income tax. The whole tax funda is so irrational and yet so much study and expertise have gone into developing it. So people with limited income need to have clean tax records (thanks to their employers). But people dealing and rejoicing in black money can save all they want for the next eight generations. Here we slog our ass off to afford that one house or car, but religious sires, politicians, businessmen, bureaucrats etc can flaunt and throw away millions in wedding that mostly end in divorces.
- Traffic signals: The crossroad near my house was so peaceful till traffic signals were installed. The traffic pile up increased and I began to get late for office. Our Government is like a stereotypical step parent who chids and scolds the child just to remind itself that it has control over it. Otherwise it does not care about the child’s well being and future.
I am not a political science student, nor an expert on current affairs. But what I see regularly leaves me feeling indignation for our government and system. I don’t know about the election results, but still wish to hope for a less poorly governed country.
I am a Facebook socialite and I love reading and looking at other people’s lives through their posts and their photos. But some people tend to clutter my wall through stupid and annoying posts. Here is a list of 7 types of posts that are Facebook pollutants (of course I am talking about my wall).
- Religious posts that say “Hit like or share if you are a believer” – What the hell. Why would I prove myself as someone by liking or sharing a post. Social networking is not some religious club. I don’t use it to further my religious beliefs. I have nothing against any religion, but my wall is not for any evangelist missions!
- Long drawn anniversary posts– Women are pioneers in this. To show the world how cool their married life is, wives write long poetic verses singing their husband’s praises, telling the world the super expensive gadgets and accessories they gifted the wives, and then of course the anniversary wishes. I mean, get a life! We know your marriage sucks or will soon begin to suck because you don’t wish the person who lives with you, but make a show of it only. God help the husbands!
- Sob stories and self pity- Had a breakup? Did not get tickets to go home? Some friend bitched about you? Your boss rejected your shitty work? Whatever be the reason, there is absolutely no reason to make Facebook your frustration outlet. People don’t want to know vague things like “I will slap the bitch”…It’s a different thing if you mention the name of course! Also some love to write dragging stories about how the world is victimizing the poor soul who is the epitome of righteousness. Yeah right! You are right and everyone else is wrong. Happy? Now stop writing stories so crappy.
- Comparison of celebrities with soldiers– Posts like this goes “There will be thousand likes for a celebrity, but how many will like what our soldiers are doing? People, this is not a patriotism competition. You are the ones pasting film star photos as your profile picture. So stop this fake show of being patriotic and enjoy social networking instead of moral policing
- Type this and that and see the magic– Utter bul****. Guys stop spamming my wall with ridiculous posts like this. I will not type a 7, or click on the red dot to see any magic. If you are interested in magic learn some real stuff and perform on stage. My wall is not for your stupid magic tricks.
- Every detail update– This is the adverse effect of handy and portable internet devices. Every minute there’s an update on what one is doing like “at this mall”, the next message “Happy shopping” “At this cinema” next “watching this cinema”, “Going to office”, “heavy traffic” “reached office”…Guys not all your fb friends are your moms or wives. We do not want to know your daily schedule. If you are so obedient, keep messaging people about your progress every minute. DO NOT POLLUTE MY WALL.
- Game requests– For the love of god, I do not play candy crush or bubble safari or any other Facebook Games. I use to connect with my friends. For me candy is a sweet and crush…well there are many! So stop crushing my wall with your game requests. I see 10 updates and open it excitedly to find 7 candy crush requests. Not happening!
- Weird photos of ill and deformed people claiming to get a $ for every share – Well get this straight. Sharing posts does not earn anyone any money (unless its the owner of this site) So don’t feel all sad and charitable and pollute my wall with grotesque posts. I don’t want to see such a sad image when I open my Facebook for the first time in the day.
I started with 7 points in mind and stopped at eight (thanks to my colleague for correcting me) Actually now that I think of it I would write about 10 more points. But I won’t be so mean…after all some irritating posts are read by me with great interest. So I’ll stop here. You can add to the list if you please!
What inner beauty do we keep talking about? If you are beautiful inside, you will be beautiful outside. Plastic features are no part of beauty at all. It’s always the inners that uplift us!
Divine is the nothing that got everything going
First there was nothing…then something happened…a boom…a bang…today we know it as the Big Bang…and then things fell into place…What was there before? I don’t know. But I would like to call it the Divine.